In Memory of Dr Jerry Hiura
Presence
Jerry was the husband and life partner of my Aunt Lucia whom I love immensely. She has been a rock to me throughout many ups and downs within our family – but that is a story for another time. I am unbelievably and profoundly sad for my Aunt Lucia, for Larry and Audrey and their families and to those whose lives Jerry touched which I know are many. I am intensely sorry for your loss. My heart aches deeply for you.
I didn’t know Jerry as well as others. But I know that Jerry was a real friend and a real partner to my Aunt Lucia. They struck me as really good partners – very compatible, and best friends. Super supportive of each other as individuals. I really think they got the balance right and that theirs was a partnership of friendship, trust and support. They seemed to be able to enjoy life together and to support each other when anything got tough.
Jerry was always present at our broader family events. Always. I think he was steadfast in this regard. He was always present and participatory but was unobtrusive. He was super friendly but never sought to impose himself or his views on any particular conversation or issue or situation. He interacted with all family members with dignity and grace. With a friendliness and congeniality which came naturally. Because of all of this, he was deeply appreciated.
He would always come talk to me and ask me how I was doing and would be genuinely interested but never pushed beyond what I may have felt comfortable sharing. He listened well and was genuinely interested in what other people had to say. There was never any hint of sarcasm or any negative feelings. When I reminisce about spending time with Jerry and my Aunt Lucia and my cousin Larry and Heather, I am filled with feelings of warmth and happiness.
Jerry really opened my eyes when he invited me so many years ago to attend a performance at CATS. It added a whole new dimension to our conversations and I really wish I had spoken with him more about CATS, SJMA and the State Arts Council as I navigate the institutional art world in my own city.
It was excruciating to not be able to come together to mourn with Lucia and it remains really tough not to be able to celebrate his life in person in memorial. I know that Jerry would be present if it were any of us and he would be there to console, support and be a friend. We should follow his lead and light.
Benjamin Cha, Hong Kong